Jokes-Funny SMS

Put your wife in a room & lock it..
Put your dog in another room & lock it!
Open both of them after 2 - 3 hours &

see who is Happy to see U, and who will BITE you

(The users are advised not to try at home as these stunts are performed by professionals).
??

Like SMS - 37 - SMS Length: 270 Husband Vs Wife

Only a man knows a man's nature. For example..
Customer: i need a ladies suit.
Shopkeeper: wife k liye chahiye, ya phir koi achcha sa dikhaoon?
:) :P ;)

Like SMS - 33 - SMS Length: 158 Husband Vs Wife

Wife TV par match dekh rahi thi,

.

.

Husband smart banke aya or bola,

DARLING MEIN KAISA LAG RAHA

HU? .

.

Tabhi wife zorse chillayi'

CHAKKAAAA!!!

Like SMS - 33 - SMS Length: 177 Husband Vs Wife

A line written on a husband's T shirt:
All gals r devil but my wife is queen..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Of them ????

Like SMS - 30 - SMS Length: 147 Husband Vs Wife

Wife : Mein Tangg Aa Gayi Hu
Roz Ki Kit Kit Se
Mujhe Talaaq Chahiye
.
.
Husband : Ye Lo Choclate Khaao.
.
.
.
Wife. ( Romantically ) Mana Rahe Ho Mujhe..
.
.
.
.
Husband : Nahi Re Pagli
.
Maa Kehti Hai Achchha Kaam Karne Se
Pehle
Meetha Khaana Chahiye.

Like SMS - 32 - SMS Length: 288 Husband Vs Wife

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
upcoming anniversary. She said, ?I want something shiny
that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds!? I gifted her
a weighing scale.

Like SMS - 35 - SMS Length: 187 Husband Vs Wife

जब एकता कपूर पैदा हुई
तो डॉक्टर घरवालों से बोला :-
बधाई हो, कौन हुआ
जानने के लिए देखिए
अगला एपिसोड।
.
.
जब प्रभू देवा पैदा हुआ
तो डॉक्टर घरवालों से बोला :-
बधाई हो, बच्चा जब
हिलना बन्द करेगा तो चैक करके
बताएगें
कि क्या हुआ है।
.
.
जब दया(CID) पैदा हुआ तो सारे
डॉक्टरोँ ने भागकर हॉस्पिटल के
सारे गेट बन्द कर दिए।
.
.
जब सुरेश कलमाड़ी पैदा हुआ
तो डॉक्टर घरवालों से बोला :-
बधाई हो, घोटाला हुआ है। जांच
जारी है।
.
.
जब दिग्गविजय सिंह पैदा हुआ
तो डॉक्टर
घरवालों से बोला :- बधाई हो, आपके
साथ मज़ाक हुआ है।
.
.
जब नरेँद्र मोदी पैदा हुए
तो डॉक्टर बोला :- बधाई हो, आपके
घर शेर ए हिन्दुस्तान पैदा हुआ
है!
.
.
जब PM मन्नु सिँह पैदा हुआ तब
डॉक्टर बोला :- बधाई हो,
सन्नाटा हुआ है!
.
.
.
केजरीवाल के पैदा होने से पहले
डॉक्टर घरवालों से बोला :-
बच्चा आ नही रहा है, अन्दर धरने
पर बैठा है

Like SMS - 65 - SMS Length: 1935 Funny SMS

Banta-Agar aapko Garmi
lage to aap kya krte ho?
Santa:Cooler k samne
baith jata hu
...
Banta-phir bhi Garmi lage
to?
Santa:To Cooler ON kar
leta hu...

Like SMS - 38 - SMS Length: 160 Santa Banta SMS

Absolute Classic!!!

1 bande Ne Ek Function Organize Kiya
.
.
Usne Dekha Ki Invitation Se Zyada
Log Aaye Hain
.
.
Wo Stage Pe Gya.. Aur Bola
.
.
Jo Jo Ladki Walon Ki Taraf Se hai.. Wo Idher Ek side Me Aa Jaaye.
10-15 Aa Gye Ek Taraf.
.
.
Phir usne Bola Ki Jo Ladke Walon Ki Taraf Se Hain..
Wo Bhi Udher Aa jaye.
10-15 Log Phir Aa Gye
.
.
Ab usne Ne Ek Danda Le K Un Sab
ko (ladki wale plus ladke wale) ko maar maar ke bhagaaya.. aur kaha

"Ye Birthday Party hai...Haraamkhoro"

Like SMS - 44 - SMS Length: 504 Funny SMS

Jokes - Things to Learn From SRK Movies:

Kuch Kuch hota hai: DOST SE PYAAR

Mohabattein: PRINCIPAL KI BETI SE PYAAR..

Kal ho na ho: PADOSI KI BETI SE PYAAR

Kabhi khushi Kabhi gum: NAUKAR KI BETI SE PYAAR

Kabhi Alvida na Kehna: ..DUSARO KI BIWI SE PYAAR

Baazigar: DUSHMAN KI BETI SE PYAAR

Pardes: ..DOST KI MANGETAR SE PYAAR

Dil se: TERRORIST SE PYAAR

Mai Hoon na: TEACHER SE PYAAR

Veer Zaara : Hindu hoke Muslim ladki se pyar, woh bhi Pakistani

Chennai Express : DON KI BETI SE PYAAR..

Note - SRK teaches us how to manage risky love affairs..!!!
.
.
.
.

arre haa, risky se yaad aaya,

The most risky love is...

Rab ne bana di jodi: KHUD KI biwi se pyaar ..

Like SMS - 45 - SMS Length: 703 Funny SMS